Improper Engines
by DonaldDouglasandToby6
Summary: This two-parter includes Henry having an accident, leading James to think he's improper. Henry attempts to prove him wrong, but still ends up in a predicament.
1. Improper Engines

In the old days of the North Western Railway, back when there were only six engines, Henry was a very different engine. He had a different shape and a small firebox, which caused him to not have enough steam and break down a lot. Henry was given Welsh coal, but it grew expensive. To solve the problem, The Fat Controller had sent him to Crewe to be rebuilt, and he's been in that same shape ever since, and is sick a lot less often.

However, the memories still reside with the engines, particularly James, who had always found the situation rather amusing. Even though they're friends, James often teased the big engine about being "accident-prone".

One day, Henry was puffing along the Main Line with a local train.

He was having a wonderful time, taking in the sights.

Suddenly he noticed a black, oily substance on the tracks.

Henry gasped.

"Oh no! I think that's the Diesel oil BoCo was leaking yesterday!" he thought.

"Driver, we need to stop! Now!" cried Henry, but it was too late.

Before Henry's driver could apply the brakes, he slipped on the oil and dashed right by a red signal!

Worse still, Donald was up ahead with a slow goods.

Unable to stop, he crashed right into Donald's train.

A loud crash was heard behind him, and Donald quickly braked.

"Losh sakes, what the blazes happened back there?" he asked worriedly.

Henry was badly damaged; his front was twisted and his lamp was in pieces.

Luckily, nobody was hurt, but that didn't make up for the trucks and the brakevan that were destroyed during the calamity.

"Och, what have ya done?" cried Donald, "This train was full to the brim with bricks! Now they're all destroyed!"

Henry felt very silly, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

The yardmaster phoned the yard, but unfortunately for Henry, the only engine available was James.

A while later, James arrived with Rocky, laughing.

Henry groaned as the red engine came into view.

When he arrived, it wasn't long before James thought up a comment on the situation.

"This is proof that you are an improper engine! All these mishaps will force the Fat Controller to have you retired, you poor old thing! First the Flying Kipper, then Welsh coal, then a cow, then Duck crashed into your brakevan, then another incident with the Flying Kipper, then your tubes, and now this!" chortled James.

"Henry may be a bit accident-prone, but have you seen Percy lately? He recently crashed into some pumpkins and one of his mail bags exploded! Talk about real accident-prone." chuckled Donald.

James laughed even harder as Rocky silently set to work; he knew better than to argue with the red engine.

Word soon spread of the incident, for James and Donald, since he wasn't damaged by the incident, chattered about it to the other engines.

Gordon and James talked endlessly about it.

"Talk about improper. He must be a jinx!" said Gordon.

"You'd think he'd be retired by now." added James.

"Shut up!" burst out BoCo as he oiled alongside, "Henry's a Really Useful Engine, just like the rest of us!"

"You're lucky Henry isn't here to hear your insults. Imagine if he heard his two best friends trash him like this!" agreed Edward severely.

James snorted.

"You wouldn't understand! It's really starting to get distracting!"

Edward just sighed.

Later, James was to take Hector and some other Troublesome Trucks from the coaling plant to the Steelworks.

It was a while before he arrived.

Duck arrived in the Coaling Plant to collect some coal for the Little Western.

"Molly, have you heard James lately?" he asked, clearly not in the best of moods.

"I can't say I have, no. Why?" Molly asked worriedly as she shunted Hector into place.

"He says Henry's an improper engine, just because of a little accident with Donald! He seems to forget _he_ was the engine who crashed into some tar wagons." snorted Duck into disgust, "Tell me Molly, how could an engine be considered improper?"

"I wouldn't say an engine is improper, even the naughty ones." said Molly with confidence.

"Unfortunately James doesn't know that. I just wish something could be done about it." and Duck puffed away.

Unknown to the two engines, Hector had heard everything.

He was cross with James, and ever since he was released from being a ballast hopper, he wanted to see engines get justice for bad behavior.

Molly was uncoupled from the hopper and she puffed onto the other track as James backed into position.

"Ugh, can you believe Henry, Molly? I swear, the Fat Controller's going to notice soon."

Molly wanted to say something, but James interrupted her.

"I mean, he must have had 50 accidents at best!" he snorted.

"And... you're much better?" Molly asked quietly.

James rolled his eyes.

"Well, what do you think the answer is? Of course I'm better! I'm red! What color is better than red?"

Before Molly could say any more, James took off.

Hector was determined more than ever to pay James out.

"No-one talks like that to my best friend!" he growled to himself.

He whispered a plan to the trucks.

"Let's hold back on the hill! It will be great fun!" whispered Hector.

The trucks giggled.

"Yes, it will! Yes, it will!"

James had heard the trucks giggling and biffed them.

"Ow!"

Hector grunted as James started to climb the hill.

The red engine could feel the strain as the heavy trucks held back against him.

While climbing, the driver looked back.

"Looks like the trucks are playing their tricks again, James. Pull hard so we can get over this hill without any trouble."

James heaved up the hill, but the trucks weren't willing to give up.

He wheezed up the hill, going slower and slower with each wheel turn.

"I can't do it! I can't do it!" he panted helplessly.

"Yes you can! Yes you can!" encouraged his driver as the fireman worked quickly to shovel coal into his firebox.

That was the boost James needed, and he huffed up to the top of the hill.

"Ha! I told you annoying pests that I could beat you!" he laughed, "Clever me!"

Hector was cross; his plan hadn't worked; apparently, James was stronger than Hector had first thought.

He whispered to the trucks again, thinking up another plan quickly.

"Change of plans. We'll be pushing James down the hill instead!" he whispered, "That'll be even funner!"

"Oh yes, we love doing that!" the trucks giggled.

James smirked as he started going down the hill swiftly, but was caught off guard as the trucks surged forward.

"On! On! On!" the trucks laughed.

Hector, in particular, felt proud.

"Go forward! Go forward!" Hector chortled as James started losing control.

The driver put on the brakes, but the trucks were full to the brim of heavy coal, so gravity did its work and pushed James right down the hill.

"I've got to stop! I've got stop!" groaned James.

He whooshed down the hill, faster and faster until he saw that Edward was up ahead at Wellsworth, resting his wheels.

Edward suddenly heard James' desperate whistle.

"Go driver, I'll take the force!" Edward called.

The crews of both engines and the guard jumped clear.

James, unable to stop, smashed straight into Edward's tender.

"Ouch!" exclaimed Edward, "That hurt!"

The driver examined him closely and found that the coupling between Edward and his tender had broken due to the pressure of James and the train.

"Looks like you'll both have to go to the Steamworks," said Edward's driver.

Edward and James sighed in dismay.

James started to worry; Henry was still in the Steamworks and would probably tease him back. J

During the journey, his worry grew and grew until they arrived at the Steamworks.

As BoCo shunted the two engines into the Steamworks, Henry noticed Edward and James.

He particularly noticed James covered in coal dust, from the coal trucks earlier.

Henry couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, well, well! Looks like you, James, are an improper engine! How shocking!"

James was very embarrassed, but some plucked enough courage to respond.

"So? I've had less accidents than you! You are a jinx! Pure and simple!" huffed James.

"You've had your fair share of accidents. Rusty Red." scowled Henry.

The two continued to argued as Edward winced.

"Oh, boy..." whispered Edward to BoCo, "This could get ugly..."

BoCo could only murmur in agreement.


	2. The Crashing Kipper

Henry and James argued all day and all night while at the Steamworks for a whole week.

For the most part, Edward paid little to no attention to the arguing.

"I'll be out of here, soon. I only have a broken coupling." he thought to himself.

But soon it got very grating, very quickly.

"My paint's red, which automatically makes me better!"

"That has literally nothing to do with the conversation."

"Well, _excuse_ me for trying to mention my strong points. At least I'm not a jinx!" snorted James.

"Edward, do you think I'm a jinx?" asked Henry.

Before Edward could reply, James butted in.

"Don't ask _him_! He's obviously going to say 'no', because he's so kind he'll literally say 'no' to everything." chuffed James angrily.

At last, Edward lost patience.

"Will you two shut up for once? All you do is argue and argue. It's getting nowhere!" Edward huffed angrily, "I'm sick of hearing you two!"

James snorted.

"He started it..." mumbled Henry.

Suddenly, Victor's whistle sounded.

"I don't care who started it! You two will not argue while in my Steamworks!" fumed Victor and the two engines fell silent immediately.

Edward sighed with relief.

"Thanks Victor; you're a wonder sometimes."

"Someone has to keep them in order." chuckled Victor as Kevin raced up with more tools.

Soon Edward was repaired and gleefully puffed away, leaving Henry and James.

A few days later, Henry was repaired.

"There you go, my friend. The workmen have done their final inspection and say you're ready to go!"

"Thanks, Victor." replied Henry sadly and he puffed off.

James couldn't help but snicker as the big engine left.

"What's so funny?" snapped Victor.

"Nothing."

Henry wasn't looking forward to going home, he was now called a "jinx" among the engines, since James had told the others of the joke.

The engines found the subject very funny indeed.

When Henry arrived at Tidmouth Sheds, some of the engines were there, ready to tease as he backed into his berth.

"You'll be taking the Flying Kipper tonight! Better take care this time, Henry!" chortled Gordon.

"Beware the frost!" teased Oliver.

"You don't wanna crash again!" added Percy.

Henry was cross, but said nothing.

"Ugh, James..." he thought crossly.

The next morning at 4:30, Henry was arriving at Brendam to collect the Flying Kipper.

Salty was shunting the vans together.

"Please, hurry. I don't want to lose track of time." said Henry impatiently.

"There's only so many vans I can shunt at once, me hearty!" replied Salty.

Henry sighed and waited.

He waited and waited and waited until at last the vans were in place.

Then, Cranky had to fill the vans with fish to take to the Mainland.

But Cranky was taking his time.

"I'm tired!" he complained, "All I have for company is a seagull who keeps pecking my crane arm!"

"Botheration! Hurry up, you slowpoke! I have to be on time!" grumbled Henry, but Cranky just went slower.

"I can do what i want!"

Henry groaned.

It was 5:15 by the time the fish was loaded; Henry was 15 minutes late.

"Oh, come on! Come on!" said Henry as the guard blew his whistle.

The driver looked back and saw a green lantern shine.

"Come on, ol' boy. We can make up lost time along the way."

"Let's hope so." worried Henry as he hurried out of the dockside.

Luckily, they were able to make up 10 minutes, but they were still late to every station.

The porters unloaded the fish as quickly as possible when they heard that Henry was late.

Henry always gave his thanks, and always took off like a bullet.

Thanks to them, Henry was eventually right on time for his last delivery to the Mainland.

Henry was nearing the Vicarstown Bridge.

"Must be on time. I'm not a jinx. Nothing will happen tonight and I'll prove James wrong!"

Henry grew more and more determined as the rolling bridge came into view.

But Henry's luck was short lived.

Before the bridge was a junction where a new siding led to buffers before the embankment.

As Henry neared the bridge, he suddenly could see that the points were frozen from the frost, but were pointed in the wrong direction.

"Stop! Stop!" cried Henry.

The driver looked out the window.

"Oh no..." and jumped clear.

Henry was horrified as he saw his driver run out of the way.

"Wait, I can't stop without you!" cried Henry, but it didn't matter at that point as the fireman jumped clear as well.

The frost just made Henry go faster as he slid along into the buffers.

"Phew, those will stop me!" Henry panted with relief, but they didn't.

The wood splintered and broke as Henry's weight crushed what little was left.

"Oh nooo!" Henry cried as he raced along the embankment, and then stopped just before the Walney Channel, the river that separated Sodor from England.

His buffers touched the cold water of the river.

"Oh, heeelp!" Henry cried loudly, but only the crew had heard them.

The fireman scowled at the driver as they ran over to their engine.

"What?" the driver asked sheepishly.

"Why on Earth did you jump out for? If you didn't, this wouldn't have happened!" the fireman cried.

The driver didn't bother answering the question as he ran over to inspect Henry.

"Hmm, looks like you're pretty much fine, Henry! I'll call for Den and Dart to arrive with Jerome and Judy."

"Why not Rocky?" asked Henry, trying to repress the thought of the two devious Diesels coming to rescue him.

"Rocky's lifting boulders at the Blue Mountain Quarry. As for the Diesels in case you're wondering, they're closest so it only makes sense."

Henry snorted; he was not in the mood for the Diesels.

The driver called the Dieselworks manager and made the arrangements, then sat down by Henry and waited.

A rooster was heard in the distance as the sun started to rise.

Just then, a horn was heard. Then another soon followed.

"Ugh, here they come." scowled Henry.

"Oh, look Den! It's Henry the Jinx!"

"He's fallen in the water! Again!" chortled Dart.

Den and Dart laughed, then continued their taunting.

"Better luck next time, Jinxy!" teased Den.

"Oh, ha! Jinxy! That's a good one!" chuckled Dart.

The Diesels laughed as the workmen climbed down from the works unit coach.

"Come on, we'll have you back on the rails!" they said.

Soon, the two cranes lifted Henry onto the rails again, then his tender.

Henry was pleased to be back on the rails, but his happiness died out as Den and Dart continued teasing.

"I don't think you're pulling the Flying Kipper anymore! I think you're pulling the Crashing Kipper!" chortled Den.

Henry sighed.

"Poor accident-prone Henry!" added Dart, "Always breaking down all the time!"

"Not very nice, is it Judy?"

"I certainly think not, Jerome. Please don't say things like that, Den and Dart."

The Diesels just rolled their eyes.

Meanwhile, James had just gotten out of the Steamworks and was at Tidmouth Sheds, getting a rest before the real work of the day started.

Suddenly his driver ran up urgently with news.

"Come on, James!" said the driver, "We need to get Henry to the Steamworks. You're the only engine available."

James muttered something under his breath and puffed away to the Vicarstown Bridge.

Soon, James arrived to shunt Henry back to the yard as Den and Dart looked after the trucks, as well as the cranes.

James didn't dare say anything; after all, it wouldn't really be fair that he would tease Henry right after he himself crashed.

"So..." said James, trying to start a conversation, "I guess we're even now."

"Good. Now we can stop acting like kindergartners." laughed Henry, "Friends?"

"Friends!" replied James, thankful that the feud had finally ended.

Ever since then, the two had developed a friendly rivalry, but, thankfully, they don't fight nearly as much.


End file.
